I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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