you should give me head with plastic fangs in
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
