It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
