I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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