before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
