Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
