so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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