Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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