is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm both gender and math confused
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
