How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
