my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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