walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
