Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize