so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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