i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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