ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
