I'd wear matching sweaters with you
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
