It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
