party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
