is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm going to jail i love you
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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