I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So much rum. So many feels.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
