that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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