so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
