i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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