On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just pynch a tree in the face
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
