Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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