3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize