brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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