I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
