you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
