So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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