Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
