Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
