she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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