My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drake has all the answers
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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