so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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