yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
