is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
