is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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