hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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