got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
