I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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