I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
