Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can I color on your dick again?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
