i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
