You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Life is so much better after having sex.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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