my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How external is "for external use only"?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
