therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She even gives head with a lisp.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
