shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
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