Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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