Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
