wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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