Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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