could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
