One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
