I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
this will be a night to untag.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
