I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
