just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
