I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
jump out the window naked night went bad
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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