so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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