that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
