You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize