So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
