Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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