I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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