I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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