This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize