Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
