They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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